Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Five Simple Ways To Maintain One's Sanity

THANKS! for the suggestion for this post- please keep them coming, follow me, comment, etc...

5 of the most important methods to keeping my madness in check are:

1. Breathing:

     An anonymous sage once said: "When you own your breath, nobody can steal your peace."
I maintain my sanity from moment to moment by focusing on my breathing- it calms me and I immediately notice a marked difference in my mood.

You see, I get angry- ALOT- and when I do something so basic- like putting the focus on my breath- it takes me out of that "fight or flight" mode that I so often find myself in.  I've found that it has helped my students a great deal as well- think about it- How much does it piss you off when someone tells you to "Calm down!" when you're angry or frustrated- it's the last thing on MY mind. BUT- if you (calmly) tell someone to just "Breathe," they are far less reactionary- and if they decide to do so- it will calm them down immediately.

I focus on my breathing before I go to sleep and while I'm praying before I want to get some good rest. I find that the stresses of the day and the weights on my mind diminish rapidly- and those"rapid thoughts" slow right down so I can actually rest.  Which leads me to number 2...

2. Sleeping Well:

     Getting quality sleep is THE most essential element to maintaining my mental health.  When I am not sleeping well it is a serious red flag that I gotta get some good zzzs soon- or I will soon be boarding the one way train to a manic episode.  Some important sleep routines I follow are: NOT watching tv right before bed, and certainly not having a tv in my bedroom; drinking herbal tea before bed; reading a bit before bed- which usually puts me to sleep; and turning my phone OFF.

3. Eating Well:

    When I eat healthy foods- I feel better...  When I consume junk food, too many sweets or processed foods- I feel like crap.  "You are what you eat" rings true to me here.  I've struggled with my weight for as long as I have struggled with my mental illness- and I must say- the meds I've had top take over the years have completely messed with my thyroid- which has made food and diet a tough issue for more than 20 years.

     Oh well- at least I'm not using drugs or alcohol to self-medicate... I guess food is my "drug of choice" now.  I know that a healthy food focus is essential to my well-being.

4. Spending Time Outdoors:

     When People ask me why I moved to Santa Fe- I answer with the cheesy but true response: the 360 degree views, the browns and greens, seeing the moon and stars at night, and the clean air.  Yep...  Walking the dogs every day, taking hikes in the mountains, traversing trails with running streams and waterfalls- call me crazy- but these are the experiences which truly keep me grounded.  It may sound very "crunchy granola" Santa Fe- but- I am an Earth sign- and being out in the natural world does keep me grounded- literally.  It also keeps me active, connected to the simple joys of seeing the dogs smile, and when they discover new smells as they happily romp along- I feel a true sense of gratitude to be alive.

5. Being Kind and Grateful:

     Kindness and Gratitude develop my spiritual and emotional well-being.  Being kind to others makes me feel more of a part of the world- rather than an isolated and alone soul.  Empathic living and caring makes me optimistic and empowered to keep growing and evolving into a better person.  Maintaining ongoing gratitude keeps me focused on my recovery, how far I've come, and the desire to press on.  My prayers are often those of gratitude for all of the blessings of each day and the opportunity to be free- literally.


When I don't focus on these 5 elements- I put my mental health AND recovery in jeopardy.  When that happens- I've bought myself a ticket on the one way manic train to nowhere- which is a mental institution or jail- where I have NO freedom at all.


So- the old: H-A-L-T from NA comes up for me here...
If I'm hungry- I gotta eat well
If I'm angry- I gotta breathe, focus on being kind to others, and get outdoors
If I'm lonely- I gotta focus on being kind to others and getting out so as not to isolate
If I'm tired- I gotta sleep well- STAT!



Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Call Me Crazy...

CRAZY like A. Fox that is!...

Yes- I've been called ALL the names- from colloquial to clinical- none have ever been correct- none fit- and none of it really matters at this point.  I've broken all the definitions and stereotypical molds of each term- and continue to move about this strange planet feeling different than most- hyper-sensitive, and overly conscious- "Abby-Normal" seems like a good fit.

CRAZY:
This one used to really offend me quite some time ago.  I've grown to embrace it over time- mostly because I've come to terms with the fact that I gotta be something other than normal in this world that is so very disturbing.  I equate this one with NUTS, and LOONEY- which I don't  mind either- preferring nuts over plain any day, and having done some time in a Looney Bin- I consider myself a card carrying member.

DEPRESSED:
This one is overused and used incorrectly by most to the point of becoming just another word for sad, down, low energy, or experiencing grief.  I have been diagnosed with clinical depression- and that I experience low-grade depression- but I'm sure most people don't have a true understanding of the term.  I know of two specific times where I was surely depressed- I could barely get out of bed- had no desire to do anything- even shower- and basically sat on the couch drooling on so many psycotropis meds.  I saw no reason to live and have no idea why I came out of it okay- time just passed and things got better.  Believe me- it had nothing whatsoever to do with medication or therapy.  Being in a bad or sad mood, or experiencing grief, or being perpetually hung over is not depression.

BI-POLAR:
This one has become SO overdiagnosed and overused by common folk- it has no true meaning anymore.  I remember when this was "The Cadillac" of all diagnosses back in the 90s- but in recent years it has been used to describe anyone who has mood swings.  I still get fairly offended when people throw this one around- maybe because this diagnosis is probably the closest correct diagnosis I had ever received.  After re-reading the PDR numerous times, and staying clean and out of any shrink facility for lotso time- I don't feel like it's appropriate any more for me- but for a time- it was.  I had numerous psychotic breaks folowing manic episodes, rapid cycling, racing thoughts, and was generally out of control.  Mind numbing, lobotomizing ant-psychotics were the only medical answer at the time and although they kept me "safe" temporarily, I have been changed permanently.

So...
Call me crazy if you feel it's appropriate- names don't bother me any more- I've embraced them all and am proud to be other than normal.

Monday, December 31, 2012

NOT toasting to 2013...

Whelp-
the clock just struck midnight...

It's a New Year: 2013!

I'm not holding a glass of champagne, a shot of tequila, or a juicy bong hit.

I'm home with the dogs, watching the "Portlandia" marathon, and writing this first blog of the new year.  I've never really been a "celebrator" of New Year's Eve- certainly not interested in "ringing it in" by getting high or drunk. Not for me even when I was using- because I was high anyway- so it didn't matter...

I am thrilled that we can say that the year 2012 is now behind us- because it was quite a difficult one for me.  I am still trying to make sense of what transpired, and I am both in disbelief that I have NOT turned to drugs as an escape, while I am proud of myself for NOT doing so.

My ongoing resolutions: to remain drug and alcohol free, maintain my mental health, and work on losing more weight and exercising to improve my overall wellness.

I wish everyone a safe, healthy, and drug-free 2013-
it's gonna go One Day At A Time for me...